I Fall To Pieces
by HC247
Summary: In which Fiyero learns why it is not a good idea for him to be left alone with small creatures....


**This was the result of a very long school week and a need for some comic outlet. I hope you enjoy! (Or are at least mildly amused....;))**

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He thought he would be used to it by now

After all it had been, what? Nearly six months he'd been this way?

It had taken some getting used too, to be sure. The constant sound of straw crunching as he moved, the slight sag of his body when he sat and the constant battle to keep his filling within. It seemed, he soon found, that straw liked to find ways out of him with the slightest wrong movement.

It wasn't that being a Scarecrow was such a horrible plight. After all, he was alive, wasn't he? If this was the fate he must endure to share his life with Fae, then so be it.

He could tell it still bothered her. The fact that he couldn't actually feel her, just a slight pressure whenever she stepped into his arms or when he held her as she slept. He missed the small things such as the touch of her hand or the taste of her lips. She constantly talked of changing him back, but every time that it seemed she would go through with it, some fear of the unknown or lack of confidence in her ability would cease her efforts before she even lifted a hand to cast a spell.

He knew she would succeed one day. If only she could stop doubting herself long enough to realize it.

Instead of showing his disappointment-Elphaba felt enough of it for the both of them- he would merely gather her into his arms as best he could and reassure her that he was happy as he was as long as she was beside him.

Countless arguments had passed, but after a while they had seemed to settle into a routine of sorts. They made their home near a small Animal community of the outskirts of Oz, a place where no one would ever think to find them.

As time passed, the Animals had come to accept them, but many days were still filled with quiet solitude.

It was on one such day that Fiyero found himself alone in their small house, save for the small bear cub that Elphaba had adopted not a month ago. The poor thing had been unwittingly abandoned by its mother and the green girl immediately took pity. Powerless to stop her, Fiyero had simply smiled and petted the small creature that his lover had brought into their household as the newest member of the small family.

It was now that same cub that Fiyero found himself looking down at, contemplating the best way to get him to sleep. Elphaba had gone to collect firewood (Fiyero had jokingly offered himself, a suggestion that Fae had not found the slightest bit funny) and had them the two of them alone "to get better acquainted".

The cub, named Bre, had a funny knack for finding every way in the book to push Fiyero's buttons. One day, he had entered the bedroom to find all of his clothing that he had managed to salvage torn to shreds and Bre sitting on the floor looking quite pleased with himself. Another incident had resulted in much of the extra straw that he had managed to collect gone missing and another tow days labor spent collecting more.

While this day was turning to be much less eventful than those, Fiyero still found it a challenge to get the creature to rest. "Make sure he takes a nap while I'm gone," Elphaba had instructed before she left. "If he doesn't, he'll be up all night again which means neither of us will get any sleep either."

Fiyero had been tempted to point out that he required no sleep, but held his tongue for both of their benefit. Glancing at the clock on the wall, he sighed. Elphaba had predicted she would be gone about three hours.

He grimaced.

Two of those hours had already passed.

Squaring his shoulder, the Scarecrow sighed and leant down to the cub's level. "Come on, Bre," he soothed. "Don't you think it's time for a nap?"

A stare was all he received.

He repressed a groan of frustration. Despite the fact the Bre was an animal and not an Animal, he had demonstrated several times before that he was not lacking in intelligence and even seemed to understand some of the commands Elphaba had taught him.

Leaning down further, he tried again. "Let's go, now. You must be tired."

The bear cub let out a sound and then ran away.

Letting out a sigh, Fiyero rose to his feet and paced the floor of the living room whilst trying to come up with an alternative plan. _What would Fae do…?_

After a few moments, a plan entered his mind. Turning and heading for the kitchen, he could a small jar of honey that hey had acquired a few days ago. Not knowing what else to do, he stuck his hand inside the jar and pulled it back out. Pleased to see it coated with the golden substance, a grin crossed his face. _Let's see if the imp can resist this._

"Bre!" Fiyero let out a whistle. "Come here, buddy. I have something special for you."

The sound of clattering claws against the wood floor was heard and Fiyero suppressed a smug smile as Bre skidded to a stop in front of him. The bear watched him intently as Fiyero held out a cautious hand. "Come on, Bre, I know you like this."

The cub took a tentative step forward, licking his lips as he ambled toward his reward.

"That's it," Fiyero murmured as he watched Bre draw ever closer. "One step at a time. Come on now….No. No, Bre. No!"

Too late.

The cub immediate latched onto Fiyero's hand, holding on for dear life. The honey had worked, albeit too well. Instead of luring the cub into a relaxed state, it had only intensified it's mood and was now sitting on top of the Prince, licking the honey off of his hand. Unfortunately, his claws had also found residence in his shirt and before the poor man knew what was happening, the straw from his person was all over the floor, his shirt was torn and chest deflated.

This was the scene that met Elphaba at the door when she arrived home, arms full of wood for their fire. Fiyero glanced at her as she took in the scene. Him sprawled on the floor, straw all around and Bre sitting on his arm, licking the last bits of honey from what was left of his gloved hand.

At the sight of his mistress, Bre let out a sound of joy and ambled over to Elphaba, who set the wood down with wide eyes. Fiyero sent her an ironic smile. "Told you I could help with the kindling."

She didn't reply, only picked up the cub and headed down the hall to their room. She returned a few moments later, hand void of cub, but filled with needle and thread. Wordlessly, she began to gather the straw a replace it within his person, then proceeded to sew him up.

Fiyero shot her a grateful smile. "Thanks, sweetheart."

Not acknowledging his thanks, she set her materials aside and said, "I think it's reasonable to deduce that Bre did not sleep while I was gone?"

He looked away sheepishly, but didn't answer.

"I thought so." She returned to his side. "I swear, Fiyero. We'll find a way to change you back. The last thing we need is a repeat of this."

He grimaced. "I agree. Can you imagine when we have children? You'll be restuffing me everyday."

A sly smile crept up her face. "You have to be human again before we can even think of children, my sweet."

Fiyero's eyes glittered. "Something I fully look forward too."

Elphaba only smiled sweetly and came to place her arms around his neck. "As do I. But there is one thing."

"And what would that be?"

Her smile still in place, she said simply. "When we do have children, _I_ will be the once to watch over them."

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Review, por favor??


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